Thursday, October 13, 2016

Fear as the Mind Killer

You are walking on a dark road, then suddenly the bright headlights of a runaway rampaging truck startles you.

You do not know if you should go forward or backward and you only have a split second to decide. Fear grips you and having reached no consensus from within - you freeze.

That is paralysis.

That is fear.

Both are happening on various scales and various levels. I cannot expound enough the prevalence of the usage of the greatest weapon of mass destruction: FEAR.

I will never claim to know everything. Only that I know some things.

There's a great disturbance in the force and evil is rampaging all over the world.

They key word is uncertainty. The weapon of choice FEAR.

There are greater things in motion, most of them we can only guess.

Whatever the powers that be are plotting, there is one thing that is certain: death.

Let us give credit where credit is due: somebody said, "If you want to be President, you must be ready to kill or be killed."

I would like to supplant that with this, "If you want the liberation of truth, you must be willing to die."

Fear as a weapon
1. Those who wield fear as a weapon do so with precise accuracy.

It is so much so, that I would go as far as likening it to a clean chop of the head. So clean, that the decapitated head isn't even aware of its state after it has fallen on the floor. That is how effective fear is.

2. Fear uses examples.

To instill fear, you must share it. It must be grandiose. They should capture the imagination of the people. They are already putting people in a trance through prolonged repetition, so much so that they have no choice but to stare at the light that's coming towards them. Picture the hapless animal watching the light. Picture it to be you.

3. Fear likes to disguise itself. 

Fear never really manifests as fear. It comes out as anger, indignation, self-pity and its most potent form - one of the forms of silence. Not all silence is fear. The only way to unmask it - is to admit it consciously and if need be, verbally. "I have fear, and that's okay. I am afraid because ______."

Liberation comes with the sweet surrender to death and our Creator.

4. Fear rushes you into making abrupt emotional choices and decisions - knee jerk reactions, that lead to mistakes.

What is your knee-jerk reaction? What is your instantaneous response to fear? Learning to self-analyze is the key to its mastery. Don't get me wrong, fear cannot be extinguished. It will remain. It broods to the breaking point of the human will. The attack never really comes while the enemy is using fear. The attack comes after you react because of the fear.

5. Fear uses logical dissonance to confuse. 

It sways the huge majority, the "demos" which will never be able to self-analyze precisely because self analysis is impossible with huge groups of people. Self analysis can only come individually. The mob will always be a mob, regardless of medium. These days, it has "weaponized social media" to a great extent.

When a person is confused, fear is present.
When fear is present, a person can be confused.

6. Fear makes itself bigger.

Like a bully in a school yard, fear uses two kinds of intimidation: physical and psychological. But always, always remember that fear attaches itself to your main weakness: your desires.

Let go of your desires.
Let go of your passion for life.
Let go of everything you hold dear.
Let go of everyone who loves you.

Fear diminishes.

The Litany Against Fear
In Frank Herbert's Dune, 

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

But I must supplant this with my own. 

Let fear come and I will be afraid. 
And it's okay to be afraid
I will embrace it.
Then I will be it. 
Fear becomes me. 
Because in my fear, I will die. 
And in my death I lose everything. 
And when I lose everything, 
There will be nothing left to be afraid of.
Then when there's nothing left to be afraid of.
I can proceed with the glorious truth 
and fulfill the task at hand.
Yes, in my fear, it obliterated me.
Thereby enabling me to obliterate fear as well.

Sunday, October 02, 2016

Demonic Infestation

"Do you believe in demonic infestations?" I asked my wife earlier out of the blue.

From the tired look in her eyes, I can tell that she was anticipating another long discussion during lunch time. I can also tell that she believes that I may have crossed over from the land of the sane, and quite possibly tiptoeing on the very wide border of insanity.

"Do hear me out and give me a chance," I tried to plead my case.

I followed it up with this, "If such a thing as a demonic infestation is real, they don't go out and about with red skins, tails and horns you know.

I think, they come in the form of the 'prevailing spirit'.

These manifest through people's actions, words and the thoughts that people keep that no one can hear.

When a message is played over and over. When a message or a news item is repeated ad infinitum, regurgitated and spin cycled many times over and echoed across a medium, the thoughts that are spread become so pervasive to the point that they're the last thing you think about before going to sleep - and quite possibly the first thing you read in the morning.

Then subconsciously, they manifest. This is the dangerous part. Because these latent ideas, or hibernating thoughts, are 'just there'. They exist in our minds, and in our long and short term memory, the danger is that they can easily cross over to the realm of the physical.

I tried explaining. "Spiritual matters on its surface, rarely have logical and rational basis, that's why most of us ignore stuff like these."

But if you look at what's going on right now, not just in the Philippines, but all over the world there's a lot of insane things that even a political scientist cannot explain. We humans are curious thinkers and the way we organize our thoughts and structure our beliefs are also curious. We need to categorize and assign a folder for every thought. Just imagine if we had to file 100% of our ideas inside numerous sub folders.

The seemingly 'irrational, unexplainable, unprovable things' are all lump over to the category of 'miscellaneous' or even the 'that's crazy' folders.

But I don't think 100% of that stuff is insane.

Human behavior is not 100% rational and logical. That's what makes the social sciences peculiar in the eyes of the other disciplines. But what I'm doing now, is in some respects 'metaphysical'.

It goes beyond logic, reason and the observable.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

There is a God Mr. President

Dear Mr. President Duterte,

There is a God. 

Looking back, when I was in college back in the early 2000's, studying Political Science and Philosophy in UP Baguio. I had the strangest notion that you should be President. Call it prophecy, call it destiny, call it the macabre fantasies of a young man sick of what's happening in this country. Sabi niyo nga po, "It is God's Will". Yes, I saw disorder in the lovely City of Pines, where my father met my mother, where I was then studying, and I pitied the victims of pick pocketing and other crimes along what used to be the homey Session Road. I loathed what Baguio City has become back then.

I yearned for order, discipline and beauty in art in how we all collectively conduct our social inhalations and exhalations. Life is art after all. What I was seeing, what I saw, was the opposite. The lack of art.

15 years thereafter, I continuously asked the same questions just like you but came up with different conclusions. But know this for a fact, at that time, I wanted you to be President.

Now fast forward to today, our difference is that you are the President of the Republic and everything you say has the bearing of a 1000 kiloton wrecking ball. It doesn't have to be that way, but you know, who am I to tell you what to do?


Yes, He exists.

Evil, yes, it also exists.

Free will, and yes, it is one source of the evil.

When Lucifer came to be, he was called the Son of the Morning Star. He was the best and the brightest. At that time, Lucifer was the pinnacle of God's creation before he created humanity. But something was lacking for Lucifer. He wanted to become God himself. Thus, he started a rebellion and convinced legions of angels to rebel. They were defeated and cast to the Earthly realm.

I'm sorry, Mr. President, your question really was "WHY?"

"Why are there 18 month old babies getting raped, murdered under jeepneys, etcetera?"

I may have an answer, but it is contingent on your acceptance of it.

The answer is free will. That man, Scully, had free will and he also has sin.

Ako Pilosopo Tasyo kung minsan nagtatanong, "Kung may Diyos, bakit Niya pa pinahintulutan ang masama o ang mismong free will?"

Pinahintulutan po kasi Niya ang malayang pagpapasya.

O, bakit Niya pinahintulutan ang free will?

Kasi, Mr. President, hindi rin po magiging posible ang pagmamahal, kung walang malayang pagpapasya. Love would also not be possible without free will.

Kaya, lahat po ng masasama, bunga ng free will.

Dagdag po natin ang bagong konsepto - kasalanan o "SIN".

Kung babalikan po natin ang Genesis, si Adan at Eba, hindi po ba't pinagbawalan sila na pitasin ang prutas ng karunungan? Pero, dahil kay Satanas, pinitas po nila. Bakit? Kasi may free will po si Eba at Adan.

O, sasabihin niyo, pwede naman makialam ang Diyos at pigilan si Eba na pitasin ang prutas. Tutal Diyos siya di ba? Isang pitik lang ng kamay Niya, lipad yang puno ng karunungan na yan. Isang tiris lang Niya, mapisa na ang ahas na Satanas na yan. O pero hindi, di po ba? Nilagay ng Diyos yung puno! Nilagay ng Diyos yung bunga! Hinayaan ng Diyos ang ahas!

Nakakalito po ba?

Kasi, hindi po natin makikita ang kagandahan ng kapatawaran, forgiveness.
Kasi, hindi po natin makikita ang payak na pagmamahal sa pagsakripisyo ng sariling, bugtong na Anak na si Hesus para saan? Para po sa kasalanan natin! Para po dun sa nang rape?

Kung kayo o tayo po ay hindi natin mapatawad ang gumawa sa inyo o sa mahal niyo ng karumal dumal - Diyos po mismo, pinatawad tayo. Lahat ng kasalanan. Ang sakripisyo ang kabayaran, sariling bugtong na anak.

Para saan lahat ng iyon, kundi para mahalin din natin ang Diyos.

Mr. President, malapit na po kayo sa Valley. Mangyari'y siguro sa mga nagawa niyo noon at siguro dahil sa mga ipinagawa niyo sa iba, na kayo lamang ang nakakaalam, ngayon niyo pa po naisipan itanong yang mga tanong na tinatanong ninyo.

Meron bang Diyos?


At hindi po kayo iyon. At hindi rin ako.

Mangyari'y ang konteksto niyo po ay sa mata ng Lex Talionis o ang batas ng paghihiganti. Mata sa mata. Mayroon pong mas malakas na batas diyan - at ito ang batas ng Diyos.

Ayaw niyo lang pong makita.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Looking for a Job at the Age of 34: Going Back to the Labor Force from Freelance and Family Business

When the years were younger, my inner voice yearned for freedom from the 9 to 5 routine. I viewed real work as an inefficiency in time, marked by long hours of long commute, slow financial progress and a myriad of other things. That's the reason why I opted for the entrepreneurial freelance route.

Years have passed and today, with hordes of Filipinos discovering online freelance work, I’ve come to the realization that I’ve missed out on so many things by working at home. Although I value freedom, freelance work just doesn’t offer the same safety nets offered in a formal setting. Although if I factor in time spent with family, there comes a time when taking time for family should mean being able to provide for all their needs.

Working online and on a freelance basis made me miss out on these:
  • Health insurance, life insurance, SSS, PAG-IBIG 
  • Recognition that you could put in your CV
  • Social and professional connections
  • Regular and predictable income
With these downsides to freelance work and the difficulties of running a family business, I found that availing of loan facilities becomes problematic.

So now, I'm embarking on a new challenge that's really an old one, with one caveat: I'm already 34.

Whenever I write my 'sales pitch' to possible employers, I make sure that I sound like an old puppy willing to learn new tricks. But the age factor comes into play. With thousands of new graduates entering the labor sector, I found that competition is going to be really tough.

I'm mainly trying to get a job in the leasing sector, in the following capacities: leasing officer, leasing supervisor, leasing manager or property administrator.

There's so many things I wasn't able to put in my resume.

When our small family business was non-existent yet, what we had was a law firm that was imploding. My dad left a big gap and stood as the glue to 10 lawyers, an accounting consultancy firm, 3000 clients and so many relationships built over the years. What was left with the family was a small house cum office building.

I knew I had to act fast.

Broke with 2 kids and a need that had to be filled, I was driven.

We converted my dad's office to a commercial leasing business, and the conversion was very hands on. I borrowed 100,000 from my grandfather and turned the garden of the building into a parking lot that can hold 5 vehicles. We turned the garage into another partition. We had to move a bunch of desks, filing cabinets and other office material elsewhere to maximize the space.

Then came the marketing. I scoped out the competition and took note of their rental rates. There was a lot of vacancy along Aguirre because their prices were really high. I took the average rental prices of the nearby properties and came up with a more competitive offering.


I found that the most effective advertising was through print media and physical banners in strategic places. Online ads generated a lot of inquiries that didn't really lead to something, but they were important nonetheless.

Face to face encounters were the clinching point.


I believe that I've taken the family business to as far as it can get and have bowed to my mother who now manages it. It has come to a point that I feel that I can contribute my hands on experience and dedication outside our family business.

Online freelance opportunities are still there and some are promising. However, with the loss of our Internet connection (I use a pocket wifi that isn't so good), I feel that I won't be as competitive as I want to be.

At this age and after more than 8 years of freedom, I am now ready to serve a company loyally and with dedication. My specialization is leasing and I'm driven to serve in that capacity.