But 2011 is not yet over.
Today, I smoked 7 sticks of cigarettes, a temporary blip in the grand scheme of things I hope.
14 days have passed since I started offering payments to guest bloggers who'd like to earn an honest buck or two. So far, there are no takers yet. I consider this to be positive since a higher amount for a single blog post could possibly generate more interest in my little Get Paid to Blog Scheme.
The money I spent to buy the cigarettes was negligible since I already set aside the amount for the whole month.
A BATTLE AGAINST MYSELF
Life is a battle, but I didn't really realize that the battle would be against myself. Here are some of the things that I encountered whilst trying to stop smoking:
- Irritability. I must admit that I've become crankier because of the lack of nicotine.
- Sleeplessness. Yesterday was the most difficult phase in my attempt to stop smoking. I couldn't sleep because of the extra energy that I had.
- Lack of Concentration. I find it harder to write because of my constant state of agitation.
It is very frustrating to smoke again after successfully stopping. But I am still determined to do so.
Oftentimes I feel like I am engaged in a constant state of argument with myself. I sometimes feel like I have another person inside of me who wants to smoke. That person is stronger than me.
In my attempt, I have not made any use of an external device or apparatus that would help me alleviate my craving for nicotine. There are no electronic cigs, nicotine patches, gums or candies to help me.
The only thing I am relying on is my own strength, which may be the reason why I failed.
Some people told me that 14 days is just a short amount of time. They're right, but if you haven't experienced being addicted to a substance, 14 days seemed like forever.
Nevertheless, despite my huge disappointment, I am going to try again.
The offer still stands, I would be paying $1 for 1 blog post to one person for 1 day. If nobody offers, I'll add the amount to the next day. For January 12, 2011, the amount is now $14.